The Honda Odyssey van was just too cool for me. The Mazda MPV was not flashy or sleek-looking like the Odyssey. It had a VHS player that got Barbie of Swan Lake stuck in it. The automatic doors were functional for my crew of three under 5. I appreciated that if someone spilled milk or crushed crackers into the rugs, it wasn’t the end of the world. It was kind of nice to be able to find my MPV in a sea of Honda Odysseys and Toyota Siennas. I really, really loved not making a car payment for my Mazda. I rode that van with so much freedom.
Throughout my life, I’ve come to the realization that I’m not cool. Even if I begin by wanting the latest and greatest (van), I cannot bring myself to pull the trigger and join the cool club. The only exception to this ordinary existence was when I met Joel. Joel was/is cool. Truly. He walked through the front door to pick me up for our first date, put his hands in his pockets, and stood there with all the confidence and swagger of a cool kid. I couldn’t believe he’d be interested in little-old-me. How can that be? Does he know that I’m not cool? I know without a doubt that I snagged a “catch”, and I won’t forget it.
Somewhere along the way, I encountered a belief that I was ordinary in my spiritual journey as well. A nagging phrase appeared in the outskirts of my mind every so often: You aren’t special.
This wouldn’t be problematic if I hadn’t begun to believe it. Isn’t that the way it works? The enemy of our souls tempts us to believe something that has a bit of truth in it. You see, I am not that special. That is true. I am ordinary. In the dark, this truth gets reframed into: You have no place in God’s perfect Kingdom, imposter.
In the light: You are ordinary, and I love you.
These were the words the Lord whispered to me as I was walking through the airport on my way home from a conference in Quito, Ecuador. It was a moment I will never forget. The God of the Universe loves me! I could feel his pleasure pour over my entire being. He not only loves me, but He delights in me. How could that be?! I don’t know, but it is so. My entire being was radiating with joy as I contemplated the mystery of Christ’s love for me. I wanted to sing because I was overjoyed. Overjoyed! The joy was so much that it was begging to be poured over and into the physical world. I had a hard time containing the melodies bubbling up from my heart into my throat and escaping my lips as I worked my way through the security check. A little smile inadvertently turning my cheeks into round circles.
Isn’t that the way our cool Almighty God works? He takes the ordinary and says it’s extraordinary. It isn’t enough to make countless blades of grass; there is no one blade the same as the other. Grass! I have heard others talk about snowflakes being unique, but that doesn’t surprise me as much since snow is already magical to this Caribbean-living missionary. But grass? Each blade of grass is unique and never to be repeated. And so goes the same pattern of individuality throughout all of God’s creation.
In a world that seems obsessed with placing ourselves into categories of identity, Jesus says, “I know you.” We don’t need a new category to feel special. We don’t need to surprise Him or “wow” Him with who we are. He sees us, ordinary us, and says, “I love you and want to spend eternity with you.” He knew that we would forget or not believe, and so the Bible tells us that he “placed eternity in their hearts” (Ecclesiastes 3:11).
Isn’t it enough to just “be?” Do we have to create new categories for our personalities? Must we develop special ways to talk about our preferences and likes? What would happen if we accepted our ordinary title understanding to our core that we were made for eternity? Our capacity for growth is eternal! Now that is remarkable, and quite cool.
Angel Ballew and her husband, Joel, serve in Barranquilla, Colombia with their three daughters.
Their ministry includes networking local churches and their leaders, a homeschool community, and running a co-working space called CoVentus as a BAM (Business as Mission) project.
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